


The Habits of My Heart

by DefinitelyNotNikkie



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:06:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefinitelyNotNikkie/pseuds/DefinitelyNotNikkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's May of 2014 and everything is perfect in Erik's life: he's at peak form and he made the national team. But most importantly, he has a beautiful relationship. Or, he thought he did, until his world came crashing down. Will Erik be able to get over his heartbreak and move on? Perhaps with a little help from someone he never thought of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bananasplit86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananasplit86/gifts).



> This is chapter 1 of a multi chapter story based on the break up of Durmann, and the eventual rise of Durmler. I'm sorry to those of you that love Durmann, but the lovely thing about ships is that they all come from the land of make believe. (:
> 
> SUPER SHOUT OUT TO [THIS WONDERFUL ANGEL](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe) FOR BETA READING FOR ME. Again, I cannot thank you enough! <3
> 
> I have a lot of ideas for the coming chapters, so please let me know what you think! Happy reading! (:

The party was loud; everyone was there to celebrate their very first night in Rio. Someone had bought out the hotel’s bar for them, most likely a gift from Schweinsteiger or Podolski. The room was small and hot, packed wall to wall with all 25 members of die Mannschaft.

Erik stood in the corner, sipping on his fourth beer. He was standing next to a makeshift beer pong table, where Matze and his partner, Christoph, were getting pretty animated about the game. They lost to Mustafi and Mario.

A very drunk Manuel accidentally tumbled into Erik, spilling his bright blue drink all over Erik’s shirt, while trying to make his way to the other side of the room. 

“Hey! What the hell, Manu? Watch where you’re going,” Erik said while inspecting the damage to his white shirt. This stain probably wasn’t going to come out.

“Q-quit being such a ba-baby, Durm,” Manu slurred.

“What did you say?” Erik wasn’t paying attention, he was too focused on the giant blue mark growing on his abdomen.

“You heard me. Grow up,” Manu growled, before shoving his way past Erik.

The memory hit Erik like a tsunami. It was a brisk May day, just after he had been called up to the senior team. The sun was shining, birds were chirping; he was happy. He was out for a morning jog, rounding the corner of his street, when he noticed Jonas in his driveway. Erik was surprised to see Jonas, but Jonas’s expression was blank. This was the day Jonas broke up with Erik. Jonas claimed that they were “drifting apart” and they both needed to “grow up” to become “more serious” about their diverging careers. Erik was blindsided.

“So what do you say? Want to be my partner?” No response. “Erik? Hello?” 

Erik was brought back to reality by an impatient Matze. He shook his head in attempt to get himself together.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. What was that?” Erik apologized.

“I said, do you want to be my beer pong partner? Christoph sucks,” Matze stated again, clearly annoyed by his situation.

“Oh. Uh, no thanks. I’m actually going to head upstairs, I’m starting to get a headache from the noise,” Erik lied. Lying had become second nature to him these days.

“Suit yourself. Hey, Toni…” Matze called, while walking away to find another player.

No one noticed that Erik had underlying issues. They all knew about the break up, but Erik passed it off as no big deal. He remained calm whenever people brought it up. He was careful not to break his composure. But on the inside, it consumed him.

Erik wasn’t going upstairs. No. It was too early in the night.

He walked past the bar and noticed a large, unattended bottle of rum on the counter. He quickly swiped it while no one was looking, and made his way to the hotel’s rooftop garden.

He thought no one had seen him do it, but someone did. Julian Draxler. He had also been standing near the pong table when Manuel ran into Erik. He watched the exchange of words, and Erik become lost in deep thought. It was as if he was somewhere else. Something wasn’t right, Julian had picked up on Erik’s behavior throughout the night. He knew that Erik was hiding something. Maybe Erik could fool everyone else, but Julian was smarter than that. He secretly watched Erik leave with the bottle, get into the elevator, and arrive on the 21st floor. The rooftop garden. Why would he go there? Julian made the decision to follow him; Erik was a good friend to him, and it bothered him to see Erik so torn up.

While waiting to arrive on the 21st floor, Erik chugged from the bottle of rum. He needed to forget. When the elevator stopped, Erik stumbled out and opened the door to the garden. The cool air felt weird on his cheeks; he noticed they were wet. He didn’t even realize he had been crying ever since he got into the elevator.

He collapsed on to a bench, which overlooked the skyline of Rio de Janeiro. The rum was already having a massive effect on his vision, he couldn’t see straight – the sky and the city started to blur together. Why is he letting Jonas bother him so much? He needed to forget the things he never wanted to remember.

When Julian finally got to the rooftop terrace, he found Erik slumped on the bench and sat down next to him.

“Want to talk about it?” Julian asked after a moment of silence, noticing Erik’s tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. He scooted closer to Erik and began to rub Erik’s back, making small circles with his hand. Erik didn’t make eye contact.

“I’m a good person. I do everything right. Why do bad things happen to me?” Tears came faster from Erik’s eyes, hotter. He continued to stare at the blurring city.

“Uh, I-I don’t know Erik. You’re a good person. He’s just a guy. You’ll get over him and find someone better,” Julian said softly, trying to coax Erik. He wasn’t good at relationship stuff.

“No. He wasn’t ‘just a guy,’ Jule,” He wasn’t. He was so much more. “He meant the world to me. He was everything. My best friend, my partner in crime.” More tears. “Now, I have nothing.” Erik finally turned his head and looked at Julian.

Seeing Erik like this broke Julian’s heart. Erik’s once bright blue eyes were now filled with pain - they didn’t look the same as they did just thirty minutes before. He never realized that Erik had so much invested in Jonas. Yeah, he knew they were close, and had dated for a little over two years, but he never heard Erik talk about Jonas like this. Ever. Erik was quiet about the relationship, reserved. He never said anything about it unless someone asked. He liked to live a private life and people respected that.

“Hey now, you don’t have nothing. You’ve got all of us on die Mannschaft. We’re a team, remember?” Julian said in attempt to reassure Erik that he wasn’t alone. He put his arm over Erik’s shoulder and pulled him close, feeling Erik’s warm tears seep through his shirt.

“Yeah,” Erik responded, unconvinced. “Ever since Jonas left, it’s like there’s a gap. A hole. Something’s missing,” Erik winced. “It’s like someone turned off every light in my life, and now I can’t see anything. Everything is just black. Empty. Cold. I used to see things in color, but now that’s gone.” He leaned closer into Julian’s embrace.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone? You can’t keep this to yourself. It’s eating you alive, I can tell.” Though Julian spoke quietly, he was concerned. It’s bad for the team if players let personal issues interfere with their sports career. He wanted Erik to finally have his chance on the senior team. He deserved it. And he certainly deserved a better boyfriend, too. Someone that truly understood him, someone that was willing to grow with him. 

Wait, why was Julian suddenly so concerned about Erik’s dating life? 

“I’m sorry. At least someone else knows, now,” Erik smiled weakly. In all honesty, it felt nice to let someone in on Erik’s true feelings. He felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Julian always seemed to be right there when he needed something. Whether it was a person to practice with, someone to eat dinner with, or even someone to just talk to, Julian was always there.

“Come on, I’ll help you get to bed. We’ll talk about it more in the morning.” Julian brought Erik to his feet, put Erik’s arm over his shoulder, and placed an arm behind Erik’s back. They got into the elevator and took it down to their floor.

Luckily, Erik’s roommate, Matze, wasn’t back from the party yet. Julian helped Erik take his shoes off and placed him into bed, under the puffy white blankets. Just as Julian was about to turn the lights off and leave, he heard Erik trying to mumble something to him.

“H-hey Jule? Th-thanks for lis-listening to me. I-I don’t know what I would do without you in my-my life,” Erik slurred through a series of hiccups, staring right into Julian’s eyes. 

The last sentence caught Julian off guard, but he ignored it. There was no chance that Erik would remember this, anyway.

“Uh, no problem. Now just get some rest.” Julian flipped off the lights and closed the door behind him. He felt terrible for Erik, as if Jonas had broken his heart, too. He wanted nothing more than for Erik to get the love and appreciation that he deserved. 

Julian considered Erik to be quite a good friend of his outside of football, definitely his best friend on the team. But the way that Erik looked at him tonight through those distressed blue eyes, how Erik said those words, how he was so broken. Julian felt the urge to protect Erik, to support him. But was there something more? Julian couldn’t quite come up with an answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after, and Erik has to face Julian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we learn a little more about Erik's break up with Jonas.
> 
> As always, I'd like to give a big thank you to [THIS AWESOMENESS](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe) for beta reading for me!

Erik woke with a groan. There was suddenly a bright light shining in front of Erik’s closed eyes. Matze had pulled back the room’s curtains, letting the sunlight illuminate the small bedroom, which in turn sent a warm beam of sunlight directly to Erik’s face.

“Good morning, princess. Sorry to wake you from your beauty sleep, but we’ve gotta be at brunch in less than fifteen minutes.” Matze rolled his eyes. He had already showered and gotten dressed. Now he just needed Erik to get himself together so they could leave; the captains would be pissed if players didn’t show up.

Erik tried to rub the sleep from his eyes, but his head was pounding. Remnants of last night’s events started to come forward.

_Oh no._

Oh yes. And there was no way that Erik was going to be able to avoid Julian. But maybe he could try to stall it for as long as possible.

“Did you hear anything of what I said? Come on, we gotta go. Now is not the time to be making enemies on our team.” Despite Matze’s plea, Erik still didn’t move. He was still trying to plan a way to get around talking, and even seeing, Julian.

“Alright, I’ve had enough. You’re getting up. Now.” Matze, who stood on the other side of Erik’s bed, began to lift the mattress, sending Erik rolling to the floor.

“What was that for?” Erik grimaced while rubbing his thigh, the part that he landed on.

“I’ve had enough of your moping around. Remember why you’re here? Remember why you were selected to be part of the team? Do you even want to be here?” Matze spat angrily.

“Why would you even ask me that? Of course I want to be here.” _I just wish he was here with me._

“Well, you better start acting like it. As your friend and as your teammate, I really want you to succeed. I’ve seen you work so hard for this. Please don’t throw it away,” Matze started, his tone shifting from angry to pleading.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’ll get it together. It’s just been a weird past few days for me, that’s all. Maybe it’s the jetlag.” _Or maybe it’s just Jonas. Like it always has been._ “I’ll get ready now.”

Matze just nodded. He knew it wasn’t jetlag. It never was.

Erik made his way to the bathroom. He peeled off his stained shirt and put on the team’s matching tracksuit. When he looked in the mirror, he noticed that his face gave a lot away about last night. He looked very tired and extremely hungover.

He quickly washed his face and styled his hair. He thought that he looked a little bit better after doing both of those things, but his eyes still looked exhausted. 

When Matze and Erik finally made it down to the hotel’s dining area, Erik was relieved to see that he wasn’t the only one that looked like they had been hit by a bus. Christoph, for example, had a complexion similar to that of a ghost. He looked like he had been sick all morning.

They sat down at a table with Mats, Benni, and Ilkay. It was easy to talk to those guys, even though Benni was a supposed ‘rival.’ He never seemed like one, especially when Mats was around. They talked about the next match and what they thought the possible line up would be. No one asked about Erik’s night.

_So far, so good._

Until it wasn’t. About ten minutes into brunch, Julian approached Erik at the table.

“Uh, hey. Can I talk to you about something?” Julian asked with a smile, trying to come across as if it was going to be a normal conversation.

“Yeah, but how about after I’m done eating? I’m not done yet,” Erik motioned to his half eaten omelet and fruit cup. 

“Okay, fine. I’ll go wait on the patio.” Julian responded calmly and walked away from the table.

_Well, there’s no getting out of this one._

“What was that all about?” Mats questioned before taking a long sip of his coffee. Everyone looked at Erik. His cheeks flushed red.

“Uh, nothing much. He wanted my advice on something,” Erik lied smoothly.

Matze didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t say anything about it. He just looked back down at his food and began to eat again.

Brunch ended too soon. Mats and Benni were the first to leave; they wanted to play a game of FIFA before the next team event.

And then Ilkay left because he wanted to take a nap. Christoph was his roommate and had kept him up all night, blabbering like a thirteen-year-old school girl.

It was just Erik and Matze left at the table. Matze broke the silence.

“So this ‘advice’ that Julian is looking for…it wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I saw him leaving our room last night, would it?” Matze said with a smirk.

_Uh oh._

“Uh, no. Well, not really. No,” Erik stammered.

_I’m done._

“Well what is it? Is that a ‘no’ or ‘not really’? Those are two completely different words.” Matze was working him up.

“Matze, please. It’s definitely not what you think.” It really wasn’t.

“Fine, it’s not. But just know that I don’t believe that for a second. I’ll see you later. I wouldn’t want to make your knight in shining armor wait too much longer, princess.” Matze laughed and rose from the table. “Bye.”

_Great. Just great._

Erik took a final sip of his juice and made his way to the patio. He found Julian sitting in a chair under a giant green umbrella. He sat down quietly in the chair next to him and didn’t make eye contact.

“So do you want to start or shall I?” Julian began.

“I don’t really know what you want me to say.”

“Well you can start by telling me what exactly happened between the two of you. I had no idea that you were taking this so personally.” Julian truthfully did want to know. Every single detail. How can a person make someone as kind as Erik fall apart? It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.

Erik sat back in the chair and breathed. 

“There’s really not much to say. I thought everything was perfect, but Jonas thought otherwise.” Erik bit his lip.

“He said that I deserved someone better, he was never going to be good enough. He wanted to give me the world, but he just couldn’t.” Erik said while he watched the tide roll in and retreat back to the sea. 

Julian patiently listened. They weren’t looking at each other, but gazing out at the beach. He was surprised by how calm Erik was, it was certainly a major flip from the broken man he had seen less than twelve hours before.

“I’ve gone over every single thing that I’ve done during our relationship and I can’t come up with anything that I may have done to upset him. He said we grew apart, but I don’t see how.” Erik began to pick at loose threads on the lounge chair. 

“I was good to him.” _And he was good to me._

“I agree with Jonas,” Julian smiled, “You do deserve someone better.”

“Yeah,” Erik huffed sarcastically. 

Erik couldn’t shake his thoughts. In truth, he didn’t know the sole reason behind the break up. When Jonas came to see him that May morning, there was something in his voice. Jonas spoke the words in a way that made them sound foreign, wrong. Like they weren’t meant to come out that way. As though he meant something else entirely.

“Can you promise me something?” Julian questioned, breaking the silence.

“That depends. What do you need?” Erik finally turned and faced Julian.

Julian looked him right in the eye. “Promise me that if you ever need anything – even just someone to talk to – find me. I’m not going to let him ruin this experience for you,” Julian reached out and squeezed Erik’s shoulder. 

Talking to Julian did make Erik feel better. Julian was always the first to reassure someone, restoring their confidence. It’s just the type of person he was. Erik nodded.

“I’m really sorry that things ended the way that they did. I’m happy that you finally found the courage to tell someone about it, though,” Julian added.

“Me too. And I’m also glad I told you. In a way, I feel better. I think I’m able to see things from a different angle,” Erik smiled weakly. “And look, I’m really sorry for how I acted last night. I never should have put you in such a weird position. But thank you for finding me and talking to me. I’m not sure where I would have ended up had it not been for you.” Erik looked down and blushed in embarrassment. 

“You’re welcome. You’ve been such a good friend to me and I knew that you were in pain. It felt wrong to see you suffer like that. I just wanted to help.” _And make you realize that you deserve better._

Erik’s expression softened; he felt at ease. Julian had that effect on him. “Well, I guess we better go get ready for the next team event. I think we’re going on a boat or something.” He got up and looked at Julian. “Thank you for listening to me. You made me feel lighter, in a way.” Erik looked up at the clouds and breathed deeply. “I’ll see you at the dock.” 

Thirty-one. That’s how many steps Erik took when he walked away. Seven. That’s how many loose threads Erik pulled from the chair. Three. The amount of times Erik bit his lip.

Julian had watched him closely the whole time he had been speaking.

_How couldn’t I?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very first World Cup match versus Portugal.

The next few days of practice went by quickly, and before Erik realized it, he was already heading to the very first match of the World Cup as part of his nation’s team. It felt surreal.

He sat down on the bench in between Julian and Matze. He and Julian had been spending quite a bit of time together after Erik opened up to him. Erik liked being around Julian, because Julian had a tendency to make light out of everything. His positivity was contagious.

The three of them watched and discussed the game together, Julian occasionally cracking jokes about Müller’s enthusiastic goal celebrations. All three of them.

Although he didn’t play, he was still exuberant about the 4-0 victory over Portugal. When the final whistle sounded, he leaped up and excitedly threw his arms around Julian, pulling him into a tight hug. Julian hugged back tightly, if not tighter, than Erik did. But Erik didn’t mind.

Matze, who had been watching the embrace, made eye contact with Erik while he was still tangled up with Julian. He smiled and shook his head at him. It was a good thing Julian was facing the other way; Erik didn’t want him to find out about Matze’s suspicion. Mainly because it wasn’t true.

When the two let go, they went around and exchanged hugs with their other teammates before heading into the locker room. After a lengthy celebration, lead by none other than Müller, everyone showered and made their way to the team bus. 

Erik was one of the last people to leave the locker room because he had misplaced one of his shin guards. Once he recovered the belligerent blue piece of plastic, he was surprised to find that Julian had waited for him outside of the locker room.

“I figured you would rather sit next to me than Thomas after today’s game,” Julian said with a laugh. Thomas and a few others were still in the locker room obsessing over his skill.

Erik laughed back. “You’re right. You would’ve thought this was the first hat trick he’s ever scored.” 

Julian and Erik walked side by side and plopped down in the first two empty seats they saw on the bus. They happened to be sitting right in front of Benni and Mats.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You looked like you were in a lot of pain.” Erik overheard Benni whispering to Mats. Benni’s voice was filled with concern.

“Benni, I’ll be fine. I’m just a little sore. Don’t worry about it.” Mats responded in the same whispered tone, but he spoke with reassuring confidence.

Benni and Mats had an interesting relationship. Even though they were supposed ‘rivals’ the two always had a very amicable attitude toward one another. Erik admired it greatly; they were his relationship goals.

Once they reached the hotel, most of the players decided to return to their rooms and rest. But since Erik and Julian hadn’t played today, they went to the game room to play some pool. 

Julian mentioned that he had some hidden contraband up for grabs if Erik could beat him. And by ‘hidden contraband,’ Julian meant candy that was smuggled in by his former Schalker teammate, Neuer. 

Since Erik didn’t have any candy to bet against, he used change instead. He had gotten back a plethora of Brazilian change when he went to dinner the past few days, which was making his wallet heavy. He wouldn’t miss it if Julian won.

Julian was surprisingly better than Erik imagined. He sent ball after ball rolling into the pockets. Before he knew it, Julian sank the 8 ball, winning the game. 

“And that,” Julian sighed, “is how you kick someone’s ass at billiards. You made it too easy, Durm.”

“Oh shut up. I didn’t know that I was playing against the World Champion of billiards. Maybe you should consider leaving football and playing pool full time. It suits you,” Erik chuckled.

“You’re just jealous and you know it. Now pay up,” Julian tried to say harshly, but his smile gave him away.

“Fine,” Erik said as he reached into his pockets and pulled out a disorganized mess of shiny coins. “Here’s...uh…one _reais*_ and twenty-eight _centavos*_. Don’t spend it all in one place.” 

Julian laughed as Erik dumped the coins into his hand. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, _Senhor*_.”

Erik thought today was a good day because of many reasons. They had won their first game of the World Cup by a landslide. He laughed a lot during the game because of Julian and Matze. And even though he lost, he had a ton of fun playing pool with Julian.

But most importantly, today was a good day because he didn’t think of Jonas once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you to [my best buddy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe) for beta reading for me! <3  
>  _real (sing.), reais (pl.)_ : Brazilian form of dollars  
>  _centavos_ : Brazilian form of cents  
>  _Senhor_ : Portuguese for "sir" or "Mr."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonas decides to watch the Germany vs Ghana match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter centers on Jonas and what he's been up to post-break up.
> 
> Thank you to [bb-8](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe) for beta reading! Thanks for all of your characterization advice! <3

Jonas grabbed a beer, sat down on the couch, and flicked on the TV. It was nearly 1:00 AM, but he had to watch the game. He needed to see him.

Jonas knew it was for the best and that he was doing Erik a favor by ending things. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

There wasn’t a second that went by when he wouldn’t think of Erik. Everywhere he went, he always managed to find or see something that made him think of Erik. Just today, on the way to training, he passed a man on the sidewalk that was walking his dog; a small, tawny pug.

Anyone else wouldn’t have thought much of it. But when Jonas looked at the dog, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Erik had said one day.

_“What do you mean you don’t like pugs?” Erik asked Jonas as they walked by the glass window pane of the local pet shop._

_“I don’t know. It’s their face. They look like they ran face-first into a brick wall. Like…how do they breathe and stuff?” Jonas defended._

_“Gosh, maybe they breathe with their noses? They’re not mutants, Jonas.” Erik chuckled and shook his head._

_“Whatever. All I know is that if I ever get a dog, it’s gonna be one without a squished face. It’ll be an elegant dog.” Jonas closed his eyes, sticking his nose up._

_“So a poodle? You seem to be the poodle type. You know, you, being so fancy and all.” Erik said sarcastically._

_“You’ve got a comeback for everything don’t you?” Jonas playfully bumped Erik._

_“And that’s why you love me.” Erik smiled and bumped Jonas back._

It was a stupid memory about a stupid topic, but it still remained in Jonas’s head. He took a swig of his beer to try and shake the memory from his mind.

Germany versus Ghana. Erik wasn’t starting, but he was on the bench serving as a reserve player. Jonas knew quite a few of the other players on the bench too, since many of them were around his age. 

The camera panned over to the bench before kickoff and Jonas noticed that Erik’s smile was brighter than it had ever been. Erik was turned to one side, clearly smiling about something the person sitting next to him had said. But the other person was off screen. 

Jonas couldn’t help but feel a twinge of hurt and jealousy. _I used to be the only one who could make him smile like that._

He couldn’t focus on the game. Instead, he just found himself staring at the screen, emotionless. 

He couldn’t be upset. _I broke up with him. I did this. What did I expect?_

At halftime, the camera panned over to the bench again, which showed a variety of die Mannschaft collecting their belongings and heading to the locker room. This is when Jonas noticed it. Noticed _him._

_Julian Draxler._

He knew instantly that this was the person who had made Erik beam so brightly before kickoff. It was a gut feeling.

Jonas watched Erik and Julian walk side by side, laughing, all the way to the tunnel. At one point Erik bumped his hip into Julian, who in turn, shoved him back. 

He couldn’t bear to watch any more of this game, tied score or not. Jonas turned off the TV and threw the remote across the room. 

He couldn’t help but feel as though he had made one of the worst decisions of his life. _I can’t do this._

Just as he was about to drink the other five beers from the pack to drown his sorrows, his phone began to ring. 

Jonas reached for the phone and curiously accepted the call.

“Uh, hey, Marco. Did you mean to call me?” Jonas looked at the clock. It was nearly 2:00 AM by the time the first half ended. 

-

“I mean, yeah. I’m watching it.”

-

“Uh, sure. I can swing by. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

And with that, Jonas grabbed his keys and headed out the door; beer still laying out on the table.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Germany vs Ghana, back in Erik's perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm so sorry for not updating earlier...the holidays have been super busy for me! I hope you like this new chapter, though! (:
> 
> Thank you to [Mickey Mouse](http://archiveofourown.org/users/cafe) for beta reading! :P

Erik quickly placed his phone back into his bag before Löw came charging into the locker room. He didn’t want to make a bad impression, since this was his first World Cup. He wanted to continue to have the honor to play on this team. And if that meant being without his phone, so be it; it’s not like he was expecting any messages.

Löw gave them a brief, but stern, speech about their performance. They needed to win this game to help secure the group stage victory. It would be embarrassing to lose to a team with such a small national program.

Shortly after, it was time to return to the pitch for the second half. Erik and Julian sat in the same exact spot as they did before; only this time, the aura of the bench was stiff. Everyone, even the reserve players, needed to focus on the game. This meant that they couldn’t joke around as usual. 

It was a tied game, resulting in a score of 2-2 in the end. It wasn’t a great result, but it was better than taking a loss. The ride back to the hotel was very quiet.

Since it was a night game, most of the players decided to head to bed when they got back. Erik, Julian, and Matze, however, went to the hotel’s tiny bar to get a drink before calling it a night.

They sat down at a table in the corner and each ordered a beer. When the waitress came by with their drinks, Julian and Erik accidentally reached for the same beer, touching hands. 

Julian immediately blushed and pulled his hand away from the glass. “I’m sorry, you can take it.” He looked down and away, but a smile crossed his mouth.

“No, it’s yours. Here. I insist,” Erik said while pushing the glass in Julian’s direction.

The waitress giggled and passed the last two drinks to Erik and Matze.

The three of them went over the game in detail, discussing all of the ‘what if’ moments. The team certainly could have capitalized on a lot of opportunities.

“Hey, I’ll be right back. I have to use the restroom,” Julian began as he rose from the table and smiled, “Don’t get in too much trouble without me.”

Erik watched him walk out of the bar and disappear around the corner. 

“Alright so I’m no brain surgeon or anything, but I’m pretty sure Julian likes you,” Matze mused after taking a sip of his beer.

“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s nothing between us, we’re just friends. That’s all,” Erik rotated his wrist, sloshing the beer in a circle. 

“It’s not my fault you’re oblivious. Have you seen the way he looks at you? It’s as though you’re a shiny new bike on Christmas day,” Matze responded.

“Whatever, you don’t know what you’re talking about. And you especially don’t know Julian,” Erik fired back immediately.

“Don’t know what about Julian?” A voice asked.

Just as Erik had said that, Julian had returned to the table. 

“Uh, uhm…” Erik stammered, “M-Matze says he thinks he can beat you at billiards. I told him that he doesn’t know how good you are,” Erik quickly recovered.

Matze and Julian both looked at Erik with the same confused expression. Julian then turned to Matze.

“Is this true, Matze?” Julian questioned. Matze didn’t respond and instead kept his glaring gaze on Erik.

“Well tell him, Matze. No need to be shy,” Erik said in a tone meant to hopefully get Matze to go along with the lie. He looked at Matze with pleading eyes.

“Yeah. I can beat you. Erik just doesn’t know anything about anything. That’s why he’s easy to beat,” Matze said with conviction.

Erik knew that one line wasn’t about billiards. He wanted to say something about it, but he bit his tongue. He had to go along with the lie he created.

Julian, although still confused about what he walked back into, seemed to go along with it, too. He and Matze set up a time to play pool the following day.

After finishing their drinks, the trio went to their rooms for the night. They passed Julian’s room first; he joked with Matze about the upcoming billiards game and said goodnight. Once Julian shut the door, Matze turned to Erik.

“You owe me big time. A game of billiards? Are you kidding me? That’s really the best you could think of?” Matze scoffed as they continued down the hall.

“Well it would’ve been nice if someone warned me that he was right there,” Erik spat, reaching into his pocket for the room key. 

“I swear if I lose this game, Durm, I’m going to kick your ass.” Matze laughed and shoved his way past Erik into the room. 

Erik and Matze got ready for bed and turned out the lights. Erik curled up in his bed and tried to sleep, but he couldn’t get Matze’s thoughts out of his mind. Did Julian actually have feelings for him? Did Julian actually look at him in such a meaningful way? If he did, Julian had trouble. 

_I’m not the shiny new bike that you get on Christmas day. I’m that pair of socks that your grandma gets you. I’m the re-gift, the itchy sweater, the lump of coal. I’m the gift that no one wants. You don’t need me. You’ll throw me away._

_Just like Jonas did._


End file.
